August 08, 2006
The 'Craft Blog as a Domestic Fantasy' Debate
I have been sitting on this post for a while as I really felt impelled to write something about the subject and join in on the debate that has appeared on various blogs. I read about it here and she has links to other sites, maybe even where the subject originated.
I have thought about the whole process of blogging and the crafty community and what exactly is its purpose on many occasions. Reading this current debate has come at an appropriate time for and was slightly uncanny as Nigella's 'How to be a Domestic Goddess' was just bought for me by husband the day before. Whilst reading this wonderful book it did occur to me that domesticity has become more in vogue than it has been for years and we need no longer be embarrassed to say that we are stay-at-home moms (for some reason the notion of being a 'housewife' somehow has previously given the impression of us being inferior and less able than those with 'big careers'). It gives an opportunity to explore who we actually want to be outside the confines of the commercial world. Although this in itself is not an easy task if you have demanding toddlers or screaming babies to contend with - no-one can push your buttons like your child can they? Not even the arrogant co-worker can raise such feelings inside you as a defiant child - but thats another story.
Blogging for me has come in two separate passes. My husband suggested we start a blog about 3 years ago when I became pregnant with Emily, our first child. I was a bit dubious at the time as blogging was new to me and it did seem odd, keeping a kind of journal online. But its purpose was to keep our distant friends and family (my mom lives in England) up to date with my pregnancy and our journey into parenthood. This has been invaluable to us and will become a precious record in later years - I often think I haven't kept enough or written down enough over the past three years of Emily's life and I often forget just how much is contained on Two Blue Lines. In fact, being pregnant for the second time I am able to look back and compare my experiences.
Noodles and Doodles was born out of a desire to be more creative and my primary goal was that it would give me the motivation to get things done, whilst providing me with an outlet for my creativity. I am a bit lacking when it comes to motivation and being productive without deadlines and timescales has always been a bit tricky for me. Over the time I have kept the blog I have become more aware of just how much of a community it is and I think this is a wonderful aspect of craft blogs. Everywhere I look there is inspiration on many different levels and new people to meet, my RSS list grows daily and its hard to read them all. Who could've know such a network of like minded people existed?
But I do see where other people are coming from and sometimes those wonderfully successful crafty girls can be a real inspiration and other times the green eyed monster can set in and you can become envious of their 'super mom' ability. I know myself I can find my confidence drop quite easily and if I am in the wrong type of mood reading these blogs can make me feel more of a failure than a success. I have had many a conversation about how the hell some of these girls actually manage to do what they do. Firstly their talent is amazing and secondly how do they fit it all in? But then I stop and realise that we only see what they want us to see and of course we only show what we want to show. Who knows how difficult it is, how much childcare other people get and what their financial situation is?
I suppose the craft blogs could be considered a domestic fantasy in a way and really I don't see anything wrong with that. I never delve too deeply into my feelings and I only ever complain about things when I am pushed, because who really wants to hear about that part of my life? Lets face it, that would be pretty dull and depressing! I used to read Dooce a good while back and whilst I found her honesty refreshing at first, it just become a drag and I got a bit bored with reading about her most intimate feelings - I am sure a lot of people know the site as it has a big readership. I found it to self-indulgent - but then isn't that what all blogs are really? Including mine? Whilst I don't want to see everyones lives through rose tinted glasses, there is a limit to how much depressing reality I can take! Is that bad? I don't know. I sit here writing this, while Emily sits in the other room watching a film, the laundry needs doing, the house needs tidying in practically every room and I wonder when I will have the time or energy for my next creative endeavor.
I have many friends who have perfect houses and have the whole domestic thing down to a tee but then, thats all they do. I can't help being the way that I am, being interested in many things and so the house gets fuller by the day with fabric finds, boxes I can't throw out 'just in case', wool, thrifty 'junk' etc. I would love to be perfect but I'm afraid its just not possible. We all make our choices and sacrifices and this is mine. I like to tell myself that Emily's life will be enriched by it all!
So bring on the domestic fantasies that what I say! I need them keep me motivated and inspired and if we looked at all the dark sides of each other we may never want to blog again.
Posted by Maxine at 10:15 AM
| Comments (9)
Comments
ah, the crafty blog debate rages on! No, seriously, I agree with you. When something I've created turns out wonky, it's hard to read some of those "other" blogs, but then I remind myself of why I started blogging in the first place, and that my crafting was a result of my blogging, not the other way around. Thanks for writing about this so succintly, and putting a good face on us SAHM's!
Posted by: madmommy | August 8, 2006 02:54 PM
You're so right about domesticity being suddenly cool - Nigella, Kath Kidston - all cashing in on it.
I too LIKE the domestic fantasy element of blogs - if I want doom and dirt there's plenty to spare round here.
Being a listening post is OK occasionally, laughing at the things life throws at us is fine, but in general I like blogs which make me smile more often than not. And I love the chance to admire and learn from folks who do things better than me (even if I spit with jealousy from time to time).
For me, the best thing about blogworld is there's someone out there for everyone. I often notice how folks whose blogs I like also seem to comment on other blogs I like. Horses for courses as my grandmother would say. I'm afraid my attitude is very much *if you don't like the style of what I write, click on till you find someone whose style you do. Don't berate me for what mine is or isn't*.
Posted by: Ali | August 8, 2006 03:44 PM
Thanks for this post - it's well written and it helped me clarify my thoughts on this topic as well (like you say there's been a fair bit of posting about this lately). I enjoy reading an optimist's blog!
ps. your blog design is very cute!
Posted by: makewrite | August 8, 2006 04:33 PM
I started my blog as a journal of how comically crazy my life is... I never expected my crafting to fold into it, but once I discovered all the crafty people in the world, of course that became an aspect of my blog as well.
I love reading all types of different blogs, and I can't pinhole myself into just one genre of it all -- that's not my life. I would love to present the Martha Stewart version of myself, but I just can't bring myself to do it.
But I love living the fantasy of those who do, too.
Posted by: capello | August 8, 2006 04:36 PM
Well, like others have said elsewhere, perhaps for me, blogging actually makes me a more positive person. I don't really care to sit and share every single one of my miseries, so it forces me to find some happy, cute, funny, awesome,etc. to share with others.
I do wonder though, how much of this drive for perfection thing is linked to the "Martha Stewart Syndrome." You know the one? Where you wish everything would be just perfectly fabulous like it is in her magazine?
Of course, nothing is ever perfect, but eh, if I need a space to complain, there are plenty of other places to do that. Like you, I am not the least bothered by the "domestic fantasy" of it all.
Posted by: Sarah | August 8, 2006 06:15 PM
I've only quite recently started blogging and have noticed I'm in a minority as I do work full time (outside the home) and at times feel slightly frustrated that I haven't time to do all the things I want to, blogging has inspired me to get back to creativity which for a long time I've not fitted in, it's not a case of green eyed monster for me because I think all of us on the craft blogging circuit achieve as much as we can in the time we have whether it's between jobs or bringing up children, I am more and more aware how much more creative we are than an awful lot of people out there - I know so few other people in my 'real world' who wouldn't have a clue how to sew, knit or grow anything so the blogs are fantastic to share experiences with, that otherwise you have to enjoy alone. My mother in law(who has been staying for a very long week) praised me the other night for my washing and ironing - my first reaction was (to be blunt) cheeky cow, with all the stuff I do you praise something so mundane as washing that I just squeeze in as a necessity?! but I suppose I should be proud that I achieve all that I do and still maintain standards on such a basic as washing?!
Posted by: Sal | August 8, 2006 09:32 PM
My blog was to be simply a sewing blog, but life does take over, so I started showing my garden too.
My blog is my escape. There's two sides of my life, the creative happy side, then there is the side of keeping a home, a thankless task in my book, I am truly messy and hate cleaning.
Therefore I try to include only happy stuff in my blog, me stuff, things that make my life happy.
Occasionally I have mentioned the mess around me, or my screaming children!! But I try not too.
I'm sure most people do the same. I was always envious of a certain persons blog, thinking her life was fab. Then one day she said how she lived in a flat. I'd hate that, life without my garden, and now I'm not envious anymore!!
Posted by: weirdbunny | August 9, 2006 10:40 AM
i totally agree with what you say here.
i love to blog and read others
for the motivation and creativity
and ideas and the fact that
there are other people out there
who like the things i like!
i live in a small town.
i have friends,
but not one (ok, maybe one)
who likes this kind of thing,
who understand the butterflies
in the belly when you see
something beautiful and new
that was knit, sewn, pasted,
cut, built or photographed...
Posted by: gkgirl | August 10, 2006 01:46 PM
I love your comment...the house gets fuller by the day. That is so like here. i buy so much fabric and stuff that I think the house will burst at the seams!
I can't believe how many like minded crafted there are out there. I've spent all my life thinking I was weird but now I know I'm not the only one. LOL. I am shocked at how many crafters there are in the UK too - why haven't we got more fabric, yarn, trim stores?
Posted by: lazylol | September 2, 2006 04:01 PM
